Thursday, September 10, 2009

September 11, the date is a dark memory for most Americans, I remember still this day the complete and utter shock the pain and misery of that day.

And yet....

On the anniversary of that day in 2004 our family received a joy like none. On September 11, 2004 Pat and I flew to Guatemala City, Guatemala and waited for what seemed like forever to receive in a tiny Marriott hotel room our son. I'll never forget oppening the door and seeing him in the flesh. Up to this day we had only known him through pictures. He was so much bigger and chubbier. He was smiling in the arms of his nanny.

It was shocking, at least to me since I had given birth to our daughters, to not have felt before this child that was now mine forever. You think you are prepared and yet I wasn't, not that I wasn't happy but that here was this bundle of joy suddenly thrust into your life and as much preparation as I had done it was almost like a surprise.

But then...

All the months of frustration and waiting and desperation suddenly are forgotten and seem so distant and insignificant... when he is there in my arms, warm and smelling like baby...

As I think about it I realize that you fall in love with this child the first time you see their picture, you cannot help it. How can it be since it takes so long for adults to develop a loving relationship for each other? I don't know, it just does, you just Love this child, you have held him for 1 minute and you would jump in front of a car to save them the next.

I think of his birthmother and wonder if she remembers him. If she thinks of him and how he is doing? Is he alive? Happy? Healthy? Loved? Yes he is I tell you, more than life. Thank you for giving me this gift of your child. I will do all I can for him, I will love him forever, thru thick or thin times. Thank you, I hope you are well and safe and that you somehow know.

And to my son... Dear Miguel, never forget that i love you more than life, that no matter what happens at any point you are my son, no different than your sisters that I gave birth to. Because when I took you in my arms you were mine and mine only.

Somehow destiny comes into play. These children end up with you and you end up with them. It's something quite magical.

Nicole Kidman
Adoptive parent

I love you Miguel, thank you for being my son forever.

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