Monday, August 31, 2009

good news, so so news, fun news...

Ok good news first, the computer lives, it has to be reformatted but I had everything backed up so I should be on the clear there. They said they think it's a software problem not hardware so by reformatting it we should be good to go ::crossing fingers::

So so news, I played poorly today, blech....

fun news, i was at Sams and saw the Weinermobile and took the kids and they got pictures and stuff, they had fun!

Otherwise life is good, I'm listening to a cd I found in the cabinet by a group called Thirdeyeblind I call them ThreeBlindMice cause it's easier for me to remember. :)

So this week should be a good week to organize and declutter. I already took probably 8 bags of clothes and 4 of books to Abilities Unlimitted but i"m sure there is more to weed thru in this house. I also want to start working on some home repairs and painting that are overdue.

Miguel had a very good morning at wakeup and at school when I had to leave. I was very pleasently suprised.

Gabi did well in her fractions test this past week and that is always a relief and a boost for her.

Larisa's class got a new class pet named "Harry" and it's a Guinea Pig from the Humane Society. Larisa says he is sooooooo cute! We bought him chew toys.

so I'm on the search for a quote/poem/ etc.



Sunday, August 30, 2009

i want a macbook pro I saw yesterday. It was soooo pretty and fast and NEW! I haven't heard back from the computer people and I don't know if that is a really good or bad thing.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

no computer yet

using one of Pat's laptops, haven't even heard from the computer people... i feel like shopping (when don't i?) but I really wish I could spend the day doing that, instead I will do laundry and clean and watch sports with Pat...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

my laptop seems to be dying so I don't know when I'll be posting again. I can from my phone but it's a bit time consuming. I hope to get it all fixed up with more memory and flying thru and maybe I can make it last a while..... :)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

heidi walloped me in the eye with her "baton tail" ugh it hurts.


Monday, August 24, 2009

larisa my daughter has a MASSIVE attitude problem and i'm going to beat it out of her. No, not really beat it, but she is driving me insane with her endless whinning about her homework.

weird night of sleeping, had tons and tons of dreams that seemed to make sense but at the same time were all convoluted and strange. I don't even remember them anymore except that I think everyone i know was in them in different sections of them. I wonder what the heck is on my mind ;)

Took some pictures and they worked a *little bit* better than the ones of the other day, not fabulous or anything just seemed better quality than what I did the other day. Yay, I'm not a total loss ;)

I have to call a doctor in Fayetteville today to make an appt for Miguel, this will be a good thing and I hope that they have a reasonable wait for appt's and not one of those "our next opening is may of 2011"

Here is the quote of the day:

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

Sunday, August 23, 2009

blah, blah, blah....

crap, crap, crap, i just wrote a whole post and deleted the entire thing... freaking frakers....

I just realized a while ago that i have a lunch date on tuesday so i can't go and take pictures.

I'm pensive tonight about the direction of my life and my dreams... what am I looking for, what am i going to do, or go or achieve. My future is unclear right now besides the obvious of raising my children. I'm 41, I don't feel my age, I hope I don't look my age and it really gives me pause. I think of what i have done, what I'm doing and what I want to do.

it looks like i have to put miguel to sleep, he seems to be spinning rapidly and might need to chill.

doing good, doing good, working on my laundry and making headway. Tomorrow i have tennis league at 11 and then I'll workout and go pick up the kids. This tuesday i might have the day off (after doing cardio) so i might try my hand at taking photos again. Last week was not productive in that department. This week i also start my thursday league at hardscrabble.

kinda watching the Sharapova tennis match, she's loosing but it would be cool to watch her win, though she is making lots of mistakes. She also has a nasty serve....

it's so much more beautiful in spanish but it is followed by the english translation


No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio
o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego:
te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras,
secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.

Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva
dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores,
y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo
el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra.

Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera,

sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño.

Pablo Neruda, 1959


XVII (I do not love you...)
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
so the party was fine, the band was blah... but it was fun to see everyone and socialize for a few hours. We left early hoping to catch the Klocks at the Rib Room but that didn't work out, the place was packed and they were managing the line weirdly so we waited for like 15 minutes and then bolted. We ended up at TGIF and had a quick meal and then off to the house.

i have lots to do today for the kids school, mainly laundry and organizing their school work. Miguel has to write his name at least 5 times for homework. We saw his teacher last night and asked her how things were and she said he was fine but really really wiggly in class. That suprised both Pat and I because that was never something we had heard about him from teachers.

gonna go find my quote/poem of the day before starting my day.


Saturday, August 22, 2009

i've been a busy bee this morning cleaning like a maniac.

I will need to shower and get beautified later for our party tonight. I have a dress in mind but I need to check and make sure that I like it with the shoes.

Miguel has been having a really good day playing and doing boy things. I went to edline for gabi and found out that she forgot homework in her locker for life science and didn't get credit for it :P

Heidi is resting peacefully on my foot under my desk. she is such a sweet dog, such a little lover, just wants to hang with you and be loved. I think she is starting to chill a little, but that is not to say much since she is a major spaz.

I was able to enjoy some tunes while Pat went to play tennis with Gabi, now we are back on sports :P I'm not too bad, i can do sports but saturdays are a challenge since he wants to watch sports the whole entire day.



A Psalm of Life
Tell me not in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou are, to dust thou returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each tomorrow
Find us farther than today.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act, - act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sand of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solenm main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us then be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Friday, August 21, 2009

ok, we got the babysitter so we're going to the Endless Summer party tomorrow, I'm wearing a really cute maxi dress with 5 inch wedges, i need to look for a necklace to finish it off since the dress is one color only.

I'm trying to watch the Stankees, red Sox game and I'm not enjoying it. I will go to bed early tonight so I can do some serious cleaning tomorrow.

I'm feeling more upbeat than last week and this week together and have a much more positive outlook today. I hate having down days, I know everyone has them but it's such a challenge to get past them when they are happening and bringing you down.

I'm reading poetry every day and it is such a change from my normal reading activity. I did enjoy and write a bit of poetry when I was young, but I always found it tedious and boring, I guess now that I'm older, more mature (i know that's subject to opinion) i can read it and enjoy the feeling and story behind it. I do obviously still enjoy my chick lit and mindless stuff but it's nice to expand my horizons and enjoy much more deep and meaningful work.

Sara Teasdale has got to be my favorite right now followed by Neruda, Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake and two others i hadn't hear off before Charles Wiles and Peter Stavropoulos. I'm looking for more spanish poetry to satisfy my need for words that rhyme and work differently. There is just something so musical and beautiful about the spanish language.

ok, I wanna check on the family.


busy busy day...

was so busy today, went from one place to another with little break in between but go everything done and then some, I feel so accomplished! now the house front is another matter... i haven't really been here to do much so tomorrow is going to be cleanup day.

we are supposed to go to the Endless Summer party tomorrow night but I need to hear back from Hanna to see if she is available.

I'm really enjoying The Fray today, especially Syndicate

I don't know why this one verse sounds so beautiful to me...

Don't know what you're made of 'til the one thing that you want
Is coming with the dawn and suddenly changes
The Monday syndicate meets everyone the same
All we've lost to the flame, listen to me now


Thursday, August 20, 2009

ok almost friday

and although i've done lots of stuff this week and have much more to do tomorrow. this is my schedule for tomorrow (not that you could care less...)
8:30 dog to vet to remove stitches
9:30 workout
10:00 hair appointment
1:40 maria appt at dr. millers
3:00 ctk kids
3:20 trinity kids

hhmm... i think i overscheduled... nonetheless i will do it all!

i've decided that shrimp pasta with pesto is what dinner will be tonight, gabi is excited and pat will be too.

i posted a poem by Pablo Neruda that i really enjoyed, i liked it in english but in spanish it really brought it home. so i'm in a search for spanish poems.
Si tú me olvidas

Quiero que sepas
una cosa.

Tú sabes cómo es esto:
si miro
la luna de cristal, la rama roja
del lento otoño en mi ventana,
si toco
junto al fuego
la impalpable ceniza
o el arrugado cuerpo de la leña,
todo me lleva a ti,
como si todo lo que existe,
aromas, luz, metales,
fueran pequeños barcos que navegan
hacia las islas tuyas que me aguardan.

Ahora bien,
si poco a poco dejas de quererme
dejaré de quererte poco a poco.

Si de pronto
me olvidas
no me busques,
que ya te habré olvidado.

Si consideras largo y loco
el viento de banderas
que pasa por mi vida
y te decides
a dejarme a la orilla
del corazón en que tengo raíces,
que en ese día,
a esa hora
levantaré los brazos
y saldrán mis raíces
a buscar otra tierra.

si cada día,
cada hora
sientes que a mí estás destinada
con dulzura implacable.
Si cada día sube
una flor a tus labios a buscarme,
ay amor mío, ay mía,
en mí todo ese fuego se repite,
en mí nada se apaga ni se olvida,
mi amor se nutre de tu amor, amada,
y mientras vivas estará en tus brazos
sin salir de los míos.

Pablo Neruda
So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun
we have some serious rain coming down here in Fort Smith, it's a bit annoying but at least it's not deadly hot

Miguel appears not to be sick, i guess he just needed a nap ! YAY

I'm going to hit up some laundry before we have to leave for an appt at 11 am

listening to Belief. I love this part of a verse..

belief is a beautiful armor
but makes for the heaviest sword
like punching underwater
you never can hit who you're trying for


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

ok miguel must be sick, he fell asleep in the car on the way home and is now still asleep on the sofa. hm...... not usually a good sign.


another busy day and no desire to do it.

I just don't get it, i'm frustrated and snappy (and it's not PMS thankyouverymuch!)

“You want to think and say that you have everytning you need, but then you realize that something is missing, someone is missing... and once you think you've found it, it goes and disappears on you and you don't understand what to do or even where to start looking for that missing piece of the puzzle. You sit at home in lonely frustration and you just wait...wait...and wait. No where to look, no one to look for...”

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

on the menu

teriyaki ahi tuna seared
white rice
steamed green beans

miguel said today was "pretty good" although i heard his teacher tell him to be quiet in the pick up line, LOL
Larisa said it was ok that she had homework
gabi said it was boring

time to go burn calories and then go pick up the kids.

I did get back in my computer YAY and loaded up the pictures and they are not good... bah humbug... i took maybe one that i liked and I still feel something was missing in it.

i did get some cleaning done today, and some thinking too, sometimes that's just it, you need to have busy body and your mind will sort of clean itself too.

oooh i finally found a quote i liked for today... it's from a song

In your eyes I see the doorway to a thousand churches. - Peter Gabriel, In Your Eyes
listening to Nejo y Dalmata, nothing like a little reggaeton to get me to clean :P

I did go out for about an hour or two and took some pictures. Not exactly satisfied with them although I haven't been able to put them in the computer since apparently i killed it. It doesn't want to boot up so I'm blogging from Pat's mac.

i wanted to post a poem or quote but i don't know how cut and paste in a mac

good morning

not much to say today, i was in a funk last night but i feel somewhat better this morning. i'm debating going to take pictures today but I haven't really figured it out yet.

Monday, August 17, 2009

day one - success

Miguel declared the day and Kindergarden "awesome!"
Larisa said she thinks her teacher likes her :)
Gabi said it was hard at first but she figured it out as the day went on :)

we had a mini snaffu at the pick up at trinity because Morgan didn't see us but tomorrow will be fine.

I'm relaxing at the computer for a bit but have to pick up Gabi from the gym in a bit, listening to John Mayer's "Where the Light is" album. Wonderful music, relaxing to listen to.

well school drop off didn't go totally easy. I cried when i dropped off Gabi and then Miguel cried when I had to leave his classroom, and only calmed down when I promised him a toy if he didn't cry.

and so i was looking forward to this day and now I feel lonely...



A Dream Within a Dream
by Edgar Allan Poe

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow:
You are not wrong who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

hugs, maria

and here it is

first day of school, in exactly 28 minutes i will wake up the kids. first day is always ok, everyone is excited and nervous so they get up with no problems. I didn't get much sleep last night, firstly because i fell asleep putting miguel to sleep. then i got up at 11 pm and went to my bed, adt 1:30 the younglings invaded my bed, at 2 i realized pat wasn't there, and then i woke up constantly thinking i was going to forget to get up in time and get to school.

surprisingly i'm not in a bad mood and don't feel tired (yet) I charged both of the digital cameras so I can take pictures of the kids, their lunches are ready and everyone is set with their uniforms. I still have a couple of things i need to get for them but they were not emergencies.

hugs, maria

Sunday, August 16, 2009

hanging out..

well we did church, we had lunch, we did the ice cream social, a hellish trip to Target with miguel and now we are home. I think I have everything organized for the kids except for their lunch.

i think gabi is nervous because she has been very giggly and silly today, super chatty and all over the place. Larisa is just normal as usual, school is so good for her, she thrives with rules and schedules. Miguel is in denial and completely ignoring the fact that tomorrow he has school all day. whatever works....

am i a bad mom if i say that i'm really looking forward to having the house to myself during the days? ugh, i hate sounding like that... i am looking forward to time to myself, a more organized house and freedom to do things while they are in school.

I'm having a lovely glass of wine with some leftover salmon from friday. Hunter, who was Miguel's swim teacher this summer, was here for dinner with us and it was a very nice visit, we will miss him very much, he really became a fixture this summer. It's odd when things happen that way, you meet someone and they worm their way into weave of your day to day. Miguel talks of his "bro" all the time and constantly asks if his bro likes this or that. he was really determined to find out if Hunter liked the song "Human" from The Killers and we got verification from Hanna that he does, so miguel is happy to know this. If you read this "Io parlo italiano" don't be a stranger, call, facebook or text :) and be careful ;)

this will be a really busy week which is really a bummer because i was looking forward to a peaceful first week back to school. i have appt's out the wazoo and things to do almost every single day of the week, i think tuesday is my only free day and I'll probably have to clean that day so I can be caught up and ready since I'll be running around the rest of the week.

this was a rambly post and for some reason i'm reminded of pooh so I'm going to add a quote that i love from pooh:

“You can't always sit in your corner of the forest and wait for people to come to you... you have to go to them sometimes.”
Winnie the Pooh quote

I don't know why i thought of it and don't know that it has anything to do with what i wrote but I thought it was a very cool quote.

I did not know what was happening in my heart.

—from "Tell Me a Story" by Robert Penn Warren
well eventually i did get to sleep and i did rest, much to do today and then school for the kiddos tomorrow YEAH! i mean oh bummer ;)

i'm going to be the hospitality chair at school this year, it's supposed to be an easy job (they always say that) so tomorrow i'm taking the younglings first, then gabi, help her set up, back to CTK for some set up of the school teachers lounge, then workout, then tennis (i'm subbing for someone) then home to clean up and then pick up the kids, then larisa has violin. at least this first day she won't have homework, though gabi appaerntly will right off the bat.

the other day at the gym one of the trainers there told me i had lost weight and i looked thinner around the hips and such... weee!! finally. pat had told me too but it's good to know that others have noticed also (pat always has secret reasons for saying compliments, even if they are true)

i don't think i had ever shared that about 37,000 years ago i bought pat a basketball hoop that you have to put in ground. he has always loved playing bb and i wanted to encourage him to do it, so yesterday morning i issued a challenge, since the box had been in several of our garages for years (i bought it before miguel was born...) so larisa asked when it was going to be put, and i said never that i was going to be there until we died. i guess that challenged pat and by the end of the day, his brother came from poteau and they set it up, LOL, finally!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

almost midnight...

and sleep eludes me.... at least i did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and I'm listening to John Mayer, Where the Light is. Such wonderful music, wow... I really should try to go back to bed but i hate laying in bed and not sleeping, my thoughts take me places i don't want to go. I freak out about everything, things aren't ready, the laundry isn't done, how will i manage the first day of school, thinking of friends and things i've done and wish to do... why does it always have to happen when you want to go to sleep?

No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

ahhh here it is the one i love

The Look
by Sara Teasdale

Strephon kissed me in the spring,
Robin in the fall,
But Colin only looked at me
And never kissed at all.

Strephon's kiss was lost in jest,
Robin's lost in play,
But the kiss in Colin's eyes
Haunts me night and day.


wow now that is gorgeous, wonderful and deep poetry


do you ever wonder about life, or you know have days when it seems like things don't make sense and everything is convoluted and jumbled? i hate those days... the feeling of confusion and lack of direction.

i want to take pictures today, but can't, not until the kids are in school can i take the time to do it. i want to go to altus to take pictures, i'm already thinking of the beautiful areas i can photograph. it's so unusual for me to take pictures of nature, i've always been inclined to take pictures of people and animals, it has always been my "thing" But lately i'm thinking of trees and waterfalls, of mountains and country fences, you know those wood ones that look weathered. i think i'm going to be doing a lot of driving this next few months and find places, i know so little of the area i live in, i want to see the places that are hidden and waiting to be "seen" i know they are out there...

before i end this post i was trying to think of a quote or something, powerful and deep to say, even if it makes no sense. so often i read poems or quotes and for some reason, even if it doesn't apply they speak to me, so here it goes.

Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life, and you don't want to face what's wrong or right. Ain't it strange how fate can play a part, in the story of your heart.

Jennifer Lopez, Ain't It Funny

Friday, August 14, 2009


we forgot half of the stuff gabi needed to stock her locker.... now I have to redo everything and take her to school really early on monday and help her set up.

off to pick up and organize the house, cooking rice and beans and salmon tonight. Sox are playing the rangers this evening, the best part of it, is that it's on fox so pat is going to bitch and moan about the announcers the whooooollleee time. wooo hooo....

some pictures

Emily Dickinson - Hope is the thing

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.


good morning! i love tylenol (i love advil and motrin better but they don't love me back, they want to swell up my face and suffocate me) i love medication when it works and gives you what you need... you know painfree sleep and peace. ahhh.... sleep and rest are so very important to me.

i've been very thoughtful in the last few weeks, reading a lot of inspirational quotes and poetry. I don't know if it's a melancholy thing, maybe i'm dying? well we're all dying but that was not the point of my statement. i'm feeling a deep need to be more in touch with complex words that make me think, that make me pause and take a real look at who i am, what i want and to see what happens around me in a different way. did that sentence make sense? it did to me but i can be welll... unusual.

so shortly i'll post some poetry here, not mine i can't "poetrize" to save my life but other wonderful and gifted poets have wonderful stuff that is touching my heart lately.

3:14 am

i'm up this late, not feeling well, waiting for the tylnol to kick in and eating chocolate mini wheats (hey it's good source of calcium and fiber!) I'm thrilled with the kids teachers, larisa is thrilled with her classmates and miguel is ready to start kindergarden. his teacher is very funny and very focused on reading so i think miguel will really enjoy being in her class.

pat's office was finally repaired, but they have some more work to do to it, with the new breaker box. at least pat is relaxed and has a fully working man cave again.

well no more to write, this is so lame i'm boring myself....

Thursday, August 13, 2009

off to orientation...

bleh... no offense to the school or it's members, i love them all but orientation is absolutely, frigging boring.


sometimes it really SUCKS to be a girl.... 'nough said

come back soon Remdog

remmy came back to see the sox last night!!! he said he is getting better and hopes to be back before the end of the season. I hope so!!! in honor of his visit i posted , well i copied from a friend on facebook, in my profile the infamous remdog air guitar video. enjoy it!!



miguel has orientation today and he is terribly excited about it. I cant' wait to take him to see his new classroom, meet his teacher and see where he sits, etc.

gabi had fun at her orientation last night and received her schedule, locker and saw her friends and figured out who she is taking classes with, she also thinks that a boy likes her, and he is awful cute, such a sweet thing when they start that stage of puppy love, awwww...

i'm happy to say that miguel slept in his own bed all night and didn't come to my bed, which is such a joy for me, he is such a little furnace and he has to sleep plastered to me which is really sweet but after a while it gets hot and sweaty and i can't sleep.

we saw the end of a movie last night with gene hackman and i have to say i found it so stupid, i think pat said it was called "heist" and there were so many double crosses for some gold they stole it was ridiculous...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

your so beautiful

i love that song by Akon....

Hey Phyllis thank you for the comment and for following my blog :)

busy day today .... that can be good

ok the dogs are driving me NUTS! 2 puppies in one house plus a bulldog and a pug is tiring. the yorkie is sooo noisy and the mutt is a mess she is such a spaz! the bulldog seems pretty relaxed today.

I made a new playlist with easy listening music including, the fray, john mayer and a few other loose songs that i love.

taking gabi shopping tomorrow i think, she needs "foundation garments" eeeekkk! when did that happen?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

i love miguel

he's such a little worker, coming in with his sweet little cheeks and dimples and he smiles and i forget what a little stinker he can be sometimes. then he gives me a peck on the lips and runs off to pat to tell him "i kissed your wife on the lips!"

I worked hard today on larisa's room and decluttered the entire pigstye that it was, OMG how can one human being hold on to so much sh*t! She's a massive pack rat!!

6 more days 'till school, things are falling in place, sitter's arranged, meetings scheduled, appt's made, i just need to press uniforms and they should be good to go! gabi gets orientated tomorrow ( i know i said that wrong i did it on purpose ) we get orientated tomorrrow and thursday, miguel gets orientated thursday morning and larisa i guess gets disorientated since there isn't one for her. ar ar ar, i know bad joke, i'm feeling chatty for no reason.

ok i'm going to go check facebook and twitter so i can avoid thinking of laundry

i got my tune...

lucky i'm in love with my best friend, lucky to have been where we have been, lucky to be coming home someday....

last night was rough but we made it thru, there were storms but that was actually helpful for sleeping, then at around 2:30 i woke up sweating and wedged in between pat and miguel, with larisa bringing in the rear... so i had to take the kids to bed and that earned my about 1.5 hours of no sleep.

heidi survived and is doing good from her surgery, although i have to keep her separated from the other dogs so they are all whinning and driving me crazy.

i HAVE GOT to do laundry today, it has be done today, no options nor arguments no procrastinating, i have to get uniforms ready for the kidlets and get rid of a lot of clothes that don't fit either miguel or larisa. i have to get them socks and underwear and undershits for larisa. gabi is all set but can probably use more underwear and bras.

i put a tracker that counts the people that hit my blog and nobody comes but me, LMAO hey this is as good as a journal, nobody reads it. i did put it in my facebook so maybe someone will read it someday.

i have a tanky sitting in my lap pretending to be a baby, sucking his thumb and smelling of morning breath, he wants ice cream for breakfast. he looks massively adorable in his red shorts and nothing else.

ok now he wants to talk and fenway is eating my chair i guess i need to stop blabbering here and start doing stuff....

Monday, August 10, 2009

no song yet...

still thinking of a song but none is coming....

heidi is recovering quietly in the sunroom from her surgery, the doctor said she did well but she has a skin infection so she's on AB, she also has mange so she's on meds, and she puked up a shirt... yes a whole entire child's shirt.... never dull around here...

miguel has been playing happily with his friend from accross the street. it was a slow build up for them, they are pretty different in personalities but they are finding common ground and having a lot of fun together. it should help him sleep soundly which is always in high demand from the parental units.

hmmm.. hmm....

i feel like humming a tune but it's not coming...

it's an ordinary day, still have things to do and the week is piling on with stuff, amazingly the laundry is doing the same thing and not washing itself how I wish i had a way of doing laundry without the actual work.

i finished reading "For a few demons more" by Kim Harrison and i swear it got me depressed... one of my favorite characters dies and i just couldn't put the book down for anything last night. I'm now reading book 7 of the same series called "The Outlaw Demon Wails" too early to tell but it's good so far.

not much else going on, boring, boring :)

Sunday, August 09, 2009

8 days till take off....

the kids start school in 8 days and i feel horribly disorganized and not ready for anything. my mind is just distracted and non-cooperative. I know there is so much i need to do, so many things that have to be completed and done this week, school meetings, 2 of them, miss h is coming to babysit one day and then i'm going to the other one by myself.

i'm looking forward to the kids to go to school so I can get things doine around the house but I'm going to really miss the pace of summer, going to the pool everyday and hanging out and relaxing without worries of drop offs, pick up lines, etc.

Labor day weekend pat is going to be gone with his friends and i know he'll have a blast, i will have to plan something to do with the kids, he leaves friday and comes back on monday so it will be a long weekend but it's ok, i got to go away for a week this summer and it was relaxing to hang only with my friends and it will be good for him to do the same.

i'm still looking for a photography class that focuses on digital photography, i haven't found anything in fort smith so I'm going to see if there is anything else close enough that won't take a whole day to go to. The only thing is that i want something that is good not some basic photography i have done basic photography class and want something challenging.

anyhow, i guess were not going to mass at nine since pat is still sleeping.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

a good day

today has been a good day, cleaned like a maniac this morning, then mr. h brought hamburgers for the kids (and me too though I certainly didn't need it, well my butt didn't need it, it was a good cheeseburger) since then we've been relaxing,watching tennis, having a glass of wine and hanging at the sofa :)

so a couple of things, miguel played with the boy accross the street, mr. h have a happy birthday and I feel like eating junk food (bleh!)

wise questions...

yesterday miguel and i went to sam's to do some shopping and the actual setting is so clear to me.... i was getting milk and out of the blue miguel asks if we can go and meet his birthmother. somehow i had not expected this conversation to happen in such bane circumstances.. you always imagine you'll be having a very serious conversation about adoption and then we discuss that he has always wanted to meet his birthfamily... not my kid :) he's so smart and special and direct. and I said that we would someday and then he asks me if she is dead, i said i didn't think so because she was young and he then asks young people don't die? double whammy, what a kid such deep questions.

I can't explain how often i think of his birthmother and his family in Guatemala and wonder if she thinks of him and misses him and wishes she could meet him. I've sent a letter to the baby's home where he was until we went to get him. i said how smart and beautiful he is and how loved he is and that he is safe and sound and will always have what he needs and then some.

not until last year did we find out that he has at least one sister that lives in the US and is beautiful and has a wonderful family, but i would be lying if i said that i was slightly dissapointed to hear she had placed another child for adoption. i held on to this dream and that placing him for adoption had been a once in a lifetime thing that she struggled with this decision and had to make it out of sheer necessity and would never ever do it again. That he was so special to her and that the decision really marked her. anyhow that is my spoiled "i've always had what i wanted and needed" thought. who am i to judge, blame or question the decisions of someone who lives the way she has to.

well i certainly did not think i was going to write this much this morning. i have plenty to do and little time to do it.

Friday, August 07, 2009

I feel an overwhelming sadness today that I can't explain. There's so much going on and that needs to be done and I just feel like listening to music, reading a book, having a glass of wine (though not this early, yuck!) and pretending i have nothing to do.

i am going to look for a photography class around town, i signed up for a 2 photoshop classes at the lifelong learning institute at the local U, i hope they'll be worth the time. I want to take more pictures and once the kids are in school i will be doing that.

so that's it, i think swimming today and hanging in the sun for a bit will be good for me. :)