Sunday, December 27, 2009


I'm going to go talk to a tattoo artist this week. I've determined a chinese cherry blossom is what I want and I want it to cover and disguise my scars. I'm working a design from 3 different pictures. It will go along my hip from the right side (of me) to the left and to (hopefully) incorporate my humminbird into it. i'm very excited about it, It will be a big tattoo and nothing I had thought of doing before but I'm very confident in my decision and that the meaning of the tattoo is a good thing for me. I'm supersticious in a way that I want something so permanent and personal to have a special and defined meaning; the same thing I felt when I named out children, their names had to be important and meaningful and such a way, although none of them were truly named after family members.

- - - - -
hugs, maria

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

hey soul sister...

i'm so obsessed with this song.....

and then for my grandma

"something in the distance
a glorious existence
a place we've never been before"

The Killers

Been working on my photoshop and getting a bit better every time. It's so hard 'cause it's so full of stuff you can do.... but still it's fun. NOw I have to take more pictures that I can mess with :D

- - - - -
hugs, maria

Monday, December 07, 2009


I know death is part of life but it sure sucks when someone you love so much is so suddenly taken from you. Ok, so she was 89 but this summer she stayed with me for 2 weeks, she bought me birthday presents, she drank wine with me and joked around with us.

It's so painful to realize she will never come here again to joke with Pat or look at my children with utter joy and indescribable love.

I miss her so much and she hasn't been gone for 24 hours. I hope loving Pat will honor the joy it gave her to make us a couple. I miss you so much grandma, I'll have a glass of White Zin for you this week. I love you!
- - - - -
hugs, maria

Saturday, November 21, 2009

John Mayer

I hope I can get tickets this weekend to see him in OKC in March!

Yesterday I finally was able to complete a a tutorial in Photoshop elements that had been driving me bananas 'cause I was not doing it right. Actually what was happening was that elements does Layer Masks differently than CS2 but I finally did it and I was thrilled with it! I'm fairly proud of myself for figuring it out!

- - - - -
hugs, maria

Thursday, November 19, 2009

2 games of tennis today! Should be exciting :) I slept so good last night, I went to bed at 8:45 and slept so soundly I didn't even hear our phone ring and that is very surprising because I'm a very light sleeper.

I'm looking forward to a boring and relaxing weekend and praying that i can get in to get my hair done before next week!
- - - - -
hugs, maria

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

fun day

did kickboxing, yoga, laundry, watched a movie, played a little with Photoshop, now I'm going to go play some tennis. Tomorrow it's Larisa's trip to Devils Den, she is so thrilled!!!

Ok, I'm going to put dogs away, and organize the house for sleepy time when we get home.
- - - - -
hugs, maria

Monday, November 09, 2009

So the week starts. I have to buy groceries and do outrageous amounts of laundry, cause I'm leaving friday for Kansas City for Jonna's bacherlorette party. Hoping that I will make this lots of fun for her. I musn't forget my allergy shot today :)
- - - - -
hugs, maria

Saturday, November 07, 2009

2 words

martini bar
- - - - -
hugs, maria

Friday, November 06, 2009

annoyed with my lack of knowledge in pse8
- - - - -
hugs, maria


I'm wondering if being 40 is just a punishment sometimes.... I seem to gain weight just from thinking about it. a month ago I was 125 lbs, yesterday I was 135. How can I have gained 10 lbs in just 1 month????? It drives me crazy that I can work out until i feel like I"m dropping dead and still gain weight... :P

Our next 3 weekends are full of fun and excitement, tonight and tomorrow night we have plans to go out with people, then next weekend I am going to Kansas City to throw a bachelorette party and go to a wedding shower. Then the next weekend we are going to go stay in a cabin at Mt. Magazine with the kids. Then it's Gabi's birthday, Thanksgiving and Chris and Jonnas wedding. Followed immediately by Christmas Decorating!!!!

I'm probably gonna have to remind myself to breathe until the end of this year....
- - - - -
hugs, maria

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Looking forward to my tennis league today! I sucked so bad last week :P but tuesday I played at night and got 13 points! Yesterday I had a good lesson and even my backhand was looking sweet so hopefully today will be a good scoring day.

Des came and hung out with me last night and we had fun talking and watching clips from videos.

Tomorrow is the tennis social and then we have a sitter coming over so we can go and have a little fun later on.
- - - - -
hugs, maria

Monday, November 02, 2009

so cooking some salmon, potatoes and wilted spinach with garlic. Listening to Bonfire. Wow what a wonderful song... love it.

things are busy but manageable. Even with a new puppy :) Theo is so friggin' adorable, i love his sweet little face and airplane ears.

On the negative the skanks might just win the world series ::: hurl ::: oh well

I can't wait to go see Third Eye Blind in Fay!!! we are also going to Mt. Magazine, have a wedding on the 27th and have bacherlor/bachelorette parties also coming up. Then as soon as I take a breath it will be Christmas time... wow...

But if you know me, you know Christmas is my favorite decorating time of the year, me and my 5 trees, maybe I'll get more this year :D

Love you all!

- - - - -
hugs, maria
new computer.... I'm in love... ahhh..

it's so pretty and fast :) Thank you pat :)
- - - - -
hugs, maria

Monday, October 26, 2009

last night we watched The Gods must be crazy I. Miguel was laughing so very much, loved the whole sillyness factor. I mean it was that belly laugh kids can do that just makes you want to tickle them so they'll keep doing it. It was adorable and also addictive. So tonight we will do #2 and see how it goes. That one is very funny also :)
- - - - -
hugs, maria

Sunday, October 25, 2009

good weekend, will be working on photoshop elements which i downloaded yesterday. This week is not as busy as the last one but will have some pop to it :) particularly friday, it's a good thing I only have one thing of tennis on friday.
- - - - -
hugs, maria

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I'm tired, goodnight
- - - - -
hugs, maria
I don't think I have ever been so excited to have a long weekend as I am today. The younglings get out of school at 1:30 and then all 3 have the day off tomorrow. I have already warned my alarms AKA Patrick to not wake me up tomorrow as I intend to sleep in. I am so frigging tired, I think I will live on red bull and emotional strenght because I am really, really tired.

It's been such a busy week, with parent teacher conferences, hospitality, tennis, kickboxing, yoga, dates with 85 year old men, lunch with Pat, date with Desiree... it's been fun, don't get me wrong, I thrive on social interaction but I'm not sleeping at night and that makes me bitchy....

anyhow I need to give kids breakfast... ttfn

- - - - -
hugs, maria

Friday, October 16, 2009

Oh being sick just sucks! Of course I had to get sick on the week that everything else falls on, birthdays, tennis, photoshop classes, health screenings... you name it, it was happening this week and so no surprise I get sick...

Next week will be only slightly less busy but i guess since I already got my sickness at least i get that out of the way.

I'm reminding myself right now to charge the camera so I can take pictures of Larisa's party tomorrow. Her friends Morgan and Savannah are coming over to play and stay for the night.

Tonight after the cake is done I'm gonna shoot myself up with Nyquil and take a good sleep.

Tomorrow will be a good day right?
- - - - -
hugs, maria

oh boy

do i hate being sick! bleh... I have much to do and little time to complete it. I spent the whole day in bed yesterday, literally the WHOLE day. My throat hurts and I'm freaking exhausted. Today I have a pre-birthday party activity at school for Larisa, then tennis clinic. Then Larisa and I have to make her birthday party cake for tomorrow.

Her celebration is tomorrow and I have a nasty house to clean. I am excited as she turns 10 and I'm excited about making the cake with her, he is a little princess baker and loves to do it.

Tomorrow, I am also excited because I have a Photohop class that I signed up for about 2 months ago. Miguel has a birthday party, then we have company to eat ribs and celebrate Larisa's party. Then her friends stay for a sleepover.

Sunday will be a LITERAL day of rest....

- - - - -
hugs, maria

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

so today I was so good! I was so buy and yet managed to do 1 hour of kickboxing and 45 minutes of yoga. I know I'm gloating but I had never done either one of those classes and I feel very accomplished!

went wedding dress shopping with my soon to be sister in law and my mother in law. It was a fun and unifying experience (i think anyways)

We're going to watch The Proposal tonight which is such a funny movie, I loved it, laughed my butt off.

Not feeling very chatty but wanted to update my blog. TTFN
- - - - -
hugs, maria

Monday, October 12, 2009

a new week upon me with lots to do, I actually slept well last night and yet I wish I could have slept better. I'm cold. I turned on the fireplace to warm up the kitchen and I'm going to make hot coccoa and something warm for the kiddos.

I wish I could write something poetic or life changing but it's happening this morning, haha!

Weird thing is that i woke up with a ong by the Killers stuck in my head.

"This Is Your Life"

Candy talks to strangers
Thinks her life's in danger
No one gives a damn about her hair
It's lonely down on Track Street
She used to go by Jackie
The cops, they'll steal your dreams and they'll kill your prayers
Take a number where the blood just barely dried

Wait for something better
No one behind you
Watching your shadows
This feeling won't go

Crooked wheels keep turning
Children, are you learning
Acclimatize but don't you lose the plot
A history of blisters
Your brothers and your sisters
Somewhere in the pages we forgot

Take a number Jackie
Where the blood just barely dried
You know I'm on your side

Wait for something better
No one behind you
Watching your shadows
You gotta be stronger than the story
Don't let it blind you
Rivers of shadow
This feeling wont go

And the sky is full of dreams
But you don't know how to fly
I don't have a simple answer
But I know that I could answer
Something better

This feeling won't go

Wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for it

- - - - -
hugs, maria

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Went to my first ever Razorbacks game and it was so much fun!
- - - - -
hugs, maria

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

testing, testing, testing, testing! testing!!!
- - - - -
hugs, maria


I'm feeling relax.... thas'all...

hugs, maria
wish you would step out from that ledge my friend....

- Jumper -

So I got a good night sleep, but man I couldn've slept another 3 hours or so.

Got tennis lessons today and need to finish up laundry OR ELSE! Woke up the kids early and everyone is ready, that is a relief, we had been straddling the late line wayyyyy to much lately and I hate that, I don't like being late, it's actually a big pet peeve of mine.

I'm Hospitality Chair this year at the school and my first official activity will be happening in 2 weeks, things are somewhat moving along but there is still a need for more food to be donated. Still I think we made good on the first day of it.

I've gained weight and feel fat and soft again, shit, shit, shit...

I might have to nap when I get home, I'm really sleepy still but so much to do and tonight is my evening out.

hugs, maria

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

I got this awesome little black biker chick leatherette jacket today and I'm just so pumped about it, it's way too cute! That of course only intensifies the size of my big butt but I guess I will have to live it, since it's my butt anyhow.

Today was a good day, and I did 30 minutes of cardio in the eliptical machine which makes me sweat (heh, I first wrote swear, maybe a freudian slip, ya think? ) I'm making fish tacos and we're going to watch Imagine that with the kids.

Larisa's birthday is in less than 2 weeks and he is about to give me a hernia with all her questions, details, requests and ideas.... She is such a little planner!

Emotionally I'm still a wreck for personal reasons, sigh...

I'm running Neon Tiger on my mind, but i've been listening to Jumper a lot also and Absolute, and today Miguel declared his second favorite song is "Free Falling" it made me so sad, he really misses his bro. I downloaded a new album called "Signs and Wonders" by Animal Kingdom, I listened to most of them, well the samples and I liked what I heard so we'll see how the whole album rates.

Miguel is getting fired up so I better start working on dinner and relaxation...

hugs, maria

p.s. and just for a change, here's some pictures

Monday, October 05, 2009

a new week starts, with a very busy day, but I'm ready for it. I have my fall hair going, I look different, I am getting used to it, it's much darker but I LIKE it. I feel kinda goth or something because it's really an intense dark brown.

We did a Halloween scavenger hunt and I had a really fun time, especially dressing up with a *very* blond wig.

I'm going to scoot and prepare stuff for today but, here's a couple of points:

- Janet, enjoy your first day at your new job
- Des I'm thinking of ya
- Jonna, I can't wait to shop today!
- *^$^&*$@ :P

hugs, maria

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Arghhh.. this is stuck on my head

I go crazy, crazy, baby, I go crazy
You turn it on
Then you're gone
Yeah you drive me
Crazy, crazy, crazy, for you baby
What can I do, honey
I feel like the color blue...

and i'm not an aerosmith fan. Man's freaky but this song hits me so visceral....

Friday, October 02, 2009

so much

I've had so much on my mind i've been ignoring the blog. I've been not only emotionally busy but busy every where else too. Lot's of activities going on, my house has suffered, my health and my emotional state also. It's time to get a move on and get over myself and my self pity. Get my emotional ass of the ground and move forward. In the span of 4 weeks I've lost and gained 7 lbs, I've lost my health and beauty routine and neglected a lot of things.

Some other things are moving forward, slowly but surely, others not so much. I miss friends and then have also made new ones.

Hugs, maria

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Why Georgia?

so love this song...

I am driving up 85 in the
kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
just stuck inside the gloom

Four more exits to my apartment but
I am tempted to keep the car in drive
and leave it all behind

Cause I wonder sometimes
about the outcome
of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why, why Georgia, why?

I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
wood in places to make it feel like home
but all I feel's alone
It might be a quarter life crisis
or just the stirring in my soul

Either way, I wonder sometimes
about the outcome
of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why, why Georgia, why?

So what, so I've got a smile on me
but it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me
Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down

Everybody is just a stranger but
that's the danger in going my own way
I guess it's the price I have to pay
still "Everything happens for a reason"
is no reason not to ask myself

If your're living it right
Are you living it right?
Are you living it right?
Why, tell me why
Why, why Georgia why?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

run neon tiger there's a lot on your mind...

Monday, September 14, 2009

take 2

well today Miguel went to the dentist to have his "extra" tooth removed. He did so well, the dentist was so impressed, they didn't have to give him a "cocktail" they just did the shots and pulled the thing out. He earned himself a toy for that.

Tomorrow we have a big day for him again, as we go to a doctor's appt in Fay, that will take most of the day. He doesn't care except he is happy to be home and not in school... stinker.... ;)


Thursday, September 10, 2009

September 11, the date is a dark memory for most Americans, I remember still this day the complete and utter shock the pain and misery of that day.

And yet....

On the anniversary of that day in 2004 our family received a joy like none. On September 11, 2004 Pat and I flew to Guatemala City, Guatemala and waited for what seemed like forever to receive in a tiny Marriott hotel room our son. I'll never forget oppening the door and seeing him in the flesh. Up to this day we had only known him through pictures. He was so much bigger and chubbier. He was smiling in the arms of his nanny.

It was shocking, at least to me since I had given birth to our daughters, to not have felt before this child that was now mine forever. You think you are prepared and yet I wasn't, not that I wasn't happy but that here was this bundle of joy suddenly thrust into your life and as much preparation as I had done it was almost like a surprise.

But then...

All the months of frustration and waiting and desperation suddenly are forgotten and seem so distant and insignificant... when he is there in my arms, warm and smelling like baby...

As I think about it I realize that you fall in love with this child the first time you see their picture, you cannot help it. How can it be since it takes so long for adults to develop a loving relationship for each other? I don't know, it just does, you just Love this child, you have held him for 1 minute and you would jump in front of a car to save them the next.

I think of his birthmother and wonder if she remembers him. If she thinks of him and how he is doing? Is he alive? Happy? Healthy? Loved? Yes he is I tell you, more than life. Thank you for giving me this gift of your child. I will do all I can for him, I will love him forever, thru thick or thin times. Thank you, I hope you are well and safe and that you somehow know.

And to my son... Dear Miguel, never forget that i love you more than life, that no matter what happens at any point you are my son, no different than your sisters that I gave birth to. Because when I took you in my arms you were mine and mine only.

Somehow destiny comes into play. These children end up with you and you end up with them. It's something quite magical.

Nicole Kidman
Adoptive parent

I love you Miguel, thank you for being my son forever.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

ugh can't sleep.... I've been awake since at least 3:30 or so and gave up so it's coffee time right now.

maybe I can get a little shuteye after the kids go to school....

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

I am the still rain falling,
Too tired for singing mirth--
Oh, be the green fields calling,
Oh, be for me the earth!

I am the brown bird pining
To leave the nest and fly--
Oh, be the fresh cloud shining,
Oh, be for me the sky!

Sara Teasdale
well today was an interesting day, which i will leave at that.

I did get to take Miguel and Larisa to the park, unfortunately Miguel needed to use the bathroom, really badly and we didn't get to stay past 20 minutes. I was not doing those park bathrooms, yuck!!! ::shiver:: but once we got home and he had taken care of business we went outside and I walked with him while he rode his bike. He enjoyed that :)

I got to do some baby shopping today :D A friend had a baby in Spain and is here visiting her family and they are having a little party for her which is I guess the belated version of a baby shower so I got some outfits and a pair of shoes.

Anyhow tomorrow is my busy day of the week so we'll see how it goes. I do my normal workout, then tennis lesson and allergy shot and if Pat wants to we'll hit some tennis balls.

Ok I'm looking for a poem today

sleep, sleep... so important and it's bypassing me lately. Why can't I sleep? I'm so tired right now and wish I could go back to bed, but I can't and I really hate napping to catch up...

can't even think of anything to write....

Monday, September 07, 2009

Happy Labor Day

Enjoying a peaceful (more or less) afternoon. Pat got home early this afternoon. Last night I had such fun, I got to hang with Desire for a while and had a good in depth conversation that I think we both needed.

I woke up nauseaus I guess those vanilla rum and cokes hit me hard. They were good....

I had to play tennis feeling yucky and yet didn't play badly.

Oh so many thoughts going thru my head...

Sunday, September 06, 2009

hanging out watching a DVR'd Locked up abroad, Miguel is doing forward flips from the side of the sofa, Larisa is trying, Gabi is MIA upstairs right now. Miguel will need to go to sleep at 8 pm, Dez is coming over to hang with me. I need to grab some diet coke and return some movies and maybe get a new one. I'm going to check the redbox right now.....

well today I woke up way early after going to bed at 1 am and decided we would go and hike. Wow, what I good idea that was, we drove to Mt. Magazine and hiked to the highest point and took some awesome picture and had fun together. I posted some pictures on Facebook. The kids requested rice and beans on the way home and so now we are indulging :)

so big hugs, I'm eating and watching spongebob

Saturday, September 05, 2009

oh well, hanging at home with the kids, well 2/3rds of them. Larisa is at a sleepover. I took the kids bowling and then got them lunch and they had it a the park, where they played for almost an hour. We, well I saw the Cowboys beat the Bulldogs, and then tried to see the Hogs game but not only was it on paperback but it was also not working. So I went and returned some movies and got 2 of them, "The Soloist" and "Duplicity" I also have a nagging desire to watch Sahara, Matthew is calling on me tonight :) well nothing wrong with his friend Greg Zahn.

Friday, September 04, 2009

so Pat is leaving shortly and I will be going to the club to workout and then play singles tennis. Should be a fun afternoon :)

Thursday, September 03, 2009

I miss Puerto Rico, I miss the heat, the beach, the sand, even the stupid traffic. I miss being home with my sisters either having a blast or even fighting with them. This afternoon while talking to a friend about her missing her family I realized how very much I miss my family, haging with my sisters and laughing idiotically about stupid things that only we know or remember.

It's really pretty amazing how much there is to a sibbling relationship, how much is assumed and understood. I can be away from my sisters for 2 years and go there and we still can laugh at the same stupid jokes or stories of our youth. It brings us together and it's like "old" times.

I miss my sisters, I miss the closeness, the history and the bond that is always there even when you are separated.

I wonder sometimes if Miguel does/will feel that way with his sisters. Will he feel that they are the people he can always be himself with, like I do with my sisters? Is this a blood bond or a life bond that comes from knowing that you have always been there and they will always be there too? I am so afraid sometimes for him, that he will feel we were insufficient, that we didn't do enough or try enough. I am afraid that he will feel like we didn't love him enough, though I jump in front of a car for him; which reminds me of when we were in Chicago and we accidentally left him in the main floor of the Chicago Field Museum. I can remember with crystal clear quality and in slow motion when my grandman in her wheelchair asked where miguel was after we went down the elevator and I realized he hadn't been with us and the absolute fear and desperation I felt and how Gabi and I without a second thought ran up the stairs hysterically and feeling like every moment was an eternity. And Gabi knocked down some kids on the stairs in her rush and we looked and saw a guard taking him to a pair of men that "seemed" related to him due to his looks. I remember screaming that he was mine... and the tears in his face, running down his cheeks, how he was red and frightened and confused. And I grabbed him and held him, in my arms feeling like it had been 10,000 years since I had last seen him. And then I started crying and he stopped and he said "why are you crying mom?" .... I'll never be able to explain to him the absolute terror I felt when I realized he was alone, without his family to care for him.

I don't think your family is your blood I think your family is yours because you will it to be either by blood or by choice and he is ours by choice.

I love you Miguel, don't ever forget that, sweet love of mine, don't ever forget.

hugs, Maria, who got sentimental, longwinded and rambly
well the day went well, I played tennis and earned 14 points, the kids pick up went well, got excellent health news of a friends husband, life is good.

this will be a very unusual weekend with Pat gone so I'm venturing into new territory and thinking of hauling the kids off to Lake Fort Smith for a picnic and nature walk. Well see how that goes ;)

I'm not happy with my eating right now, I'm currently addicted to cheetos and I'm trying my best to keep it a reasonable amount but man they are goood!

Ok, off to do research on Lake Fort Smith

hugs, maria
so I'm going out with my beautiful, gorgeous and amazing friend Desiree tomorrow night :) Woo Hoo! It's been so long since we have hung out together and while other people might come and we'll be a group I almost want to have her to myself so we can reminisce ( i should check my spelling on that i don't think the e goes )

Anyhow, I'm so looking forward to that!

It's so quiet around her in the daytime without kids, it's been neat to be able to switch on the apple TV and listen to music, I've made some new playlists that have my favorite music and I've been listening to spanish music some more.

My poor Miguel is not looking forward to daddy being gone this weekend so I'm going to have to do some serious planning for him to be busy this weekend.

well i seem to have little inspiration this morning for writing so I'm going to go upstairs and put a mask on my face and beautify it.

hugs, maria
::playing funeral march::

the computer is not responding to the reformatting... sigh.... they don't know why so they are having a tech look at it again. Lovely....

Today is picture day at the school so the little kiddos are all spiffed up and ready to be memorialized for the year of 2009.

Ok Miguel is trying to climb the pantry, better go....

hugs, maria

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

I'm feeling good today, even though my tennis lesson was dissapointment (at least for me)

Pat is going to Hooters with his boyfriends, I mean his friends, to supposedly plan out their Fantasy Football strategy, sure.... they are not going there to see chicks... ah ha.. anyhow, he's going to be gone all weekend doing manly sports things which I'm sure he'll enjoy. I hope to go out with my girlfriends on Friday if I can get ahold of the babysitter (unusual for her not to answer).

Since pat is going to be gone for dinner I think I will get the kids a Genos pizza, some ice cream and have a relaxed dinner.

I have my thursday tennis league tomorrow which is so much fun because i feel more evenly matched with the players. I love my monday league but I feel often like the weak link, although they are all sweet enough to not say anything about it and I do learn a lot from them.

Need to leave in 20 minutes to pick up the Gabi from the tennis club. So I'm going to say bye now.

hugs, maria

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

good, good day...

got busy cleaning floors this morning and then organizing and vaccuming the downstairts. (wow i bet your are rivetted to my blog now as i ponder about housecleaning...)

well that was much of my day, though i did workout and then picked up kids. Now I relax in front of the 'puter, writing about my boring day. It was entertainning in that I got to listen to lots of music and dance about as I slaved I MEAN cleaned the house.

I'm going to be whipping up some rice and beans and salmon tonight, that's always a big favorite around here.

I had so much fun listening to Ricardo Arjona today. He is a guatemalan singer that has a beautiful voice and lovely lyrics he's been described as "nueva trova" which means "new lyric" which means like a poet type singer. I can compare it sort off to John Mayer, Cold Play, The Fray.

well i must end this as i have to go get Gabi and buy some food.



Monday, August 31, 2009

good news, so so news, fun news...

Ok good news first, the computer lives, it has to be reformatted but I had everything backed up so I should be on the clear there. They said they think it's a software problem not hardware so by reformatting it we should be good to go ::crossing fingers::

So so news, I played poorly today, blech....

fun news, i was at Sams and saw the Weinermobile and took the kids and they got pictures and stuff, they had fun!

Otherwise life is good, I'm listening to a cd I found in the cabinet by a group called Thirdeyeblind I call them ThreeBlindMice cause it's easier for me to remember. :)

So this week should be a good week to organize and declutter. I already took probably 8 bags of clothes and 4 of books to Abilities Unlimitted but i"m sure there is more to weed thru in this house. I also want to start working on some home repairs and painting that are overdue.

Miguel had a very good morning at wakeup and at school when I had to leave. I was very pleasently suprised.

Gabi did well in her fractions test this past week and that is always a relief and a boost for her.

Larisa's class got a new class pet named "Harry" and it's a Guinea Pig from the Humane Society. Larisa says he is sooooooo cute! We bought him chew toys.

so I'm on the search for a quote/poem/ etc.



Sunday, August 30, 2009

i want a macbook pro I saw yesterday. It was soooo pretty and fast and NEW! I haven't heard back from the computer people and I don't know if that is a really good or bad thing.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

no computer yet

using one of Pat's laptops, haven't even heard from the computer people... i feel like shopping (when don't i?) but I really wish I could spend the day doing that, instead I will do laundry and clean and watch sports with Pat...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

my laptop seems to be dying so I don't know when I'll be posting again. I can from my phone but it's a bit time consuming. I hope to get it all fixed up with more memory and flying thru and maybe I can make it last a while..... :)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

heidi walloped me in the eye with her "baton tail" ugh it hurts.


Monday, August 24, 2009

larisa my daughter has a MASSIVE attitude problem and i'm going to beat it out of her. No, not really beat it, but she is driving me insane with her endless whinning about her homework.

weird night of sleeping, had tons and tons of dreams that seemed to make sense but at the same time were all convoluted and strange. I don't even remember them anymore except that I think everyone i know was in them in different sections of them. I wonder what the heck is on my mind ;)

Took some pictures and they worked a *little bit* better than the ones of the other day, not fabulous or anything just seemed better quality than what I did the other day. Yay, I'm not a total loss ;)

I have to call a doctor in Fayetteville today to make an appt for Miguel, this will be a good thing and I hope that they have a reasonable wait for appt's and not one of those "our next opening is may of 2011"

Here is the quote of the day:

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

Sunday, August 23, 2009

blah, blah, blah....

crap, crap, crap, i just wrote a whole post and deleted the entire thing... freaking frakers....

I just realized a while ago that i have a lunch date on tuesday so i can't go and take pictures.

I'm pensive tonight about the direction of my life and my dreams... what am I looking for, what am i going to do, or go or achieve. My future is unclear right now besides the obvious of raising my children. I'm 41, I don't feel my age, I hope I don't look my age and it really gives me pause. I think of what i have done, what I'm doing and what I want to do.

it looks like i have to put miguel to sleep, he seems to be spinning rapidly and might need to chill.

doing good, doing good, working on my laundry and making headway. Tomorrow i have tennis league at 11 and then I'll workout and go pick up the kids. This tuesday i might have the day off (after doing cardio) so i might try my hand at taking photos again. Last week was not productive in that department. This week i also start my thursday league at hardscrabble.

kinda watching the Sharapova tennis match, she's loosing but it would be cool to watch her win, though she is making lots of mistakes. She also has a nasty serve....

it's so much more beautiful in spanish but it is followed by the english translation


No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio
o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego:
te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras,
secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.

Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva
dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores,
y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo
el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra.

Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera,

sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño.

Pablo Neruda, 1959


XVII (I do not love you...)
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
so the party was fine, the band was blah... but it was fun to see everyone and socialize for a few hours. We left early hoping to catch the Klocks at the Rib Room but that didn't work out, the place was packed and they were managing the line weirdly so we waited for like 15 minutes and then bolted. We ended up at TGIF and had a quick meal and then off to the house.

i have lots to do today for the kids school, mainly laundry and organizing their school work. Miguel has to write his name at least 5 times for homework. We saw his teacher last night and asked her how things were and she said he was fine but really really wiggly in class. That suprised both Pat and I because that was never something we had heard about him from teachers.

gonna go find my quote/poem of the day before starting my day.


Saturday, August 22, 2009

i've been a busy bee this morning cleaning like a maniac.

I will need to shower and get beautified later for our party tonight. I have a dress in mind but I need to check and make sure that I like it with the shoes.

Miguel has been having a really good day playing and doing boy things. I went to edline for gabi and found out that she forgot homework in her locker for life science and didn't get credit for it :P

Heidi is resting peacefully on my foot under my desk. she is such a sweet dog, such a little lover, just wants to hang with you and be loved. I think she is starting to chill a little, but that is not to say much since she is a major spaz.

I was able to enjoy some tunes while Pat went to play tennis with Gabi, now we are back on sports :P I'm not too bad, i can do sports but saturdays are a challenge since he wants to watch sports the whole entire day.



A Psalm of Life
Tell me not in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou are, to dust thou returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each tomorrow
Find us farther than today.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act, - act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sand of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solenm main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us then be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Friday, August 21, 2009

ok, we got the babysitter so we're going to the Endless Summer party tomorrow, I'm wearing a really cute maxi dress with 5 inch wedges, i need to look for a necklace to finish it off since the dress is one color only.

I'm trying to watch the Stankees, red Sox game and I'm not enjoying it. I will go to bed early tonight so I can do some serious cleaning tomorrow.

I'm feeling more upbeat than last week and this week together and have a much more positive outlook today. I hate having down days, I know everyone has them but it's such a challenge to get past them when they are happening and bringing you down.

I'm reading poetry every day and it is such a change from my normal reading activity. I did enjoy and write a bit of poetry when I was young, but I always found it tedious and boring, I guess now that I'm older, more mature (i know that's subject to opinion) i can read it and enjoy the feeling and story behind it. I do obviously still enjoy my chick lit and mindless stuff but it's nice to expand my horizons and enjoy much more deep and meaningful work.

Sara Teasdale has got to be my favorite right now followed by Neruda, Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake and two others i hadn't hear off before Charles Wiles and Peter Stavropoulos. I'm looking for more spanish poetry to satisfy my need for words that rhyme and work differently. There is just something so musical and beautiful about the spanish language.

ok, I wanna check on the family.


busy busy day...

was so busy today, went from one place to another with little break in between but go everything done and then some, I feel so accomplished! now the house front is another matter... i haven't really been here to do much so tomorrow is going to be cleanup day.

we are supposed to go to the Endless Summer party tomorrow night but I need to hear back from Hanna to see if she is available.

I'm really enjoying The Fray today, especially Syndicate

I don't know why this one verse sounds so beautiful to me...

Don't know what you're made of 'til the one thing that you want
Is coming with the dawn and suddenly changes
The Monday syndicate meets everyone the same
All we've lost to the flame, listen to me now


Thursday, August 20, 2009

ok almost friday

and although i've done lots of stuff this week and have much more to do tomorrow. this is my schedule for tomorrow (not that you could care less...)
8:30 dog to vet to remove stitches
9:30 workout
10:00 hair appointment
1:40 maria appt at dr. millers
3:00 ctk kids
3:20 trinity kids

hhmm... i think i overscheduled... nonetheless i will do it all!

i've decided that shrimp pasta with pesto is what dinner will be tonight, gabi is excited and pat will be too.

i posted a poem by Pablo Neruda that i really enjoyed, i liked it in english but in spanish it really brought it home. so i'm in a search for spanish poems.
Si tú me olvidas

Quiero que sepas
una cosa.

Tú sabes cómo es esto:
si miro
la luna de cristal, la rama roja
del lento otoño en mi ventana,
si toco
junto al fuego
la impalpable ceniza
o el arrugado cuerpo de la leña,
todo me lleva a ti,
como si todo lo que existe,
aromas, luz, metales,
fueran pequeños barcos que navegan
hacia las islas tuyas que me aguardan.

Ahora bien,
si poco a poco dejas de quererme
dejaré de quererte poco a poco.

Si de pronto
me olvidas
no me busques,
que ya te habré olvidado.

Si consideras largo y loco
el viento de banderas
que pasa por mi vida
y te decides
a dejarme a la orilla
del corazón en que tengo raíces,
que en ese día,
a esa hora
levantaré los brazos
y saldrán mis raíces
a buscar otra tierra.

si cada día,
cada hora
sientes que a mí estás destinada
con dulzura implacable.
Si cada día sube
una flor a tus labios a buscarme,
ay amor mío, ay mía,
en mí todo ese fuego se repite,
en mí nada se apaga ni se olvida,
mi amor se nutre de tu amor, amada,
y mientras vivas estará en tus brazos
sin salir de los míos.

Pablo Neruda
So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun
we have some serious rain coming down here in Fort Smith, it's a bit annoying but at least it's not deadly hot

Miguel appears not to be sick, i guess he just needed a nap ! YAY

I'm going to hit up some laundry before we have to leave for an appt at 11 am

listening to Belief. I love this part of a verse..

belief is a beautiful armor
but makes for the heaviest sword
like punching underwater
you never can hit who you're trying for


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

ok miguel must be sick, he fell asleep in the car on the way home and is now still asleep on the sofa. hm...... not usually a good sign.


another busy day and no desire to do it.

I just don't get it, i'm frustrated and snappy (and it's not PMS thankyouverymuch!)

“You want to think and say that you have everytning you need, but then you realize that something is missing, someone is missing... and once you think you've found it, it goes and disappears on you and you don't understand what to do or even where to start looking for that missing piece of the puzzle. You sit at home in lonely frustration and you just wait...wait...and wait. No where to look, no one to look for...”

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

on the menu

teriyaki ahi tuna seared
white rice
steamed green beans

miguel said today was "pretty good" although i heard his teacher tell him to be quiet in the pick up line, LOL
Larisa said it was ok that she had homework
gabi said it was boring

time to go burn calories and then go pick up the kids.

I did get back in my computer YAY and loaded up the pictures and they are not good... bah humbug... i took maybe one that i liked and I still feel something was missing in it.

i did get some cleaning done today, and some thinking too, sometimes that's just it, you need to have busy body and your mind will sort of clean itself too.

oooh i finally found a quote i liked for today... it's from a song

In your eyes I see the doorway to a thousand churches. - Peter Gabriel, In Your Eyes
listening to Nejo y Dalmata, nothing like a little reggaeton to get me to clean :P

I did go out for about an hour or two and took some pictures. Not exactly satisfied with them although I haven't been able to put them in the computer since apparently i killed it. It doesn't want to boot up so I'm blogging from Pat's mac.

i wanted to post a poem or quote but i don't know how cut and paste in a mac

good morning

not much to say today, i was in a funk last night but i feel somewhat better this morning. i'm debating going to take pictures today but I haven't really figured it out yet.

Monday, August 17, 2009

day one - success

Miguel declared the day and Kindergarden "awesome!"
Larisa said she thinks her teacher likes her :)
Gabi said it was hard at first but she figured it out as the day went on :)

we had a mini snaffu at the pick up at trinity because Morgan didn't see us but tomorrow will be fine.

I'm relaxing at the computer for a bit but have to pick up Gabi from the gym in a bit, listening to John Mayer's "Where the Light is" album. Wonderful music, relaxing to listen to.

well school drop off didn't go totally easy. I cried when i dropped off Gabi and then Miguel cried when I had to leave his classroom, and only calmed down when I promised him a toy if he didn't cry.

and so i was looking forward to this day and now I feel lonely...



A Dream Within a Dream
by Edgar Allan Poe

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow:
You are not wrong who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

hugs, maria

and here it is

first day of school, in exactly 28 minutes i will wake up the kids. first day is always ok, everyone is excited and nervous so they get up with no problems. I didn't get much sleep last night, firstly because i fell asleep putting miguel to sleep. then i got up at 11 pm and went to my bed, adt 1:30 the younglings invaded my bed, at 2 i realized pat wasn't there, and then i woke up constantly thinking i was going to forget to get up in time and get to school.

surprisingly i'm not in a bad mood and don't feel tired (yet) I charged both of the digital cameras so I can take pictures of the kids, their lunches are ready and everyone is set with their uniforms. I still have a couple of things i need to get for them but they were not emergencies.

hugs, maria

Sunday, August 16, 2009

hanging out..

well we did church, we had lunch, we did the ice cream social, a hellish trip to Target with miguel and now we are home. I think I have everything organized for the kids except for their lunch.

i think gabi is nervous because she has been very giggly and silly today, super chatty and all over the place. Larisa is just normal as usual, school is so good for her, she thrives with rules and schedules. Miguel is in denial and completely ignoring the fact that tomorrow he has school all day. whatever works....

am i a bad mom if i say that i'm really looking forward to having the house to myself during the days? ugh, i hate sounding like that... i am looking forward to time to myself, a more organized house and freedom to do things while they are in school.

I'm having a lovely glass of wine with some leftover salmon from friday. Hunter, who was Miguel's swim teacher this summer, was here for dinner with us and it was a very nice visit, we will miss him very much, he really became a fixture this summer. It's odd when things happen that way, you meet someone and they worm their way into weave of your day to day. Miguel talks of his "bro" all the time and constantly asks if his bro likes this or that. he was really determined to find out if Hunter liked the song "Human" from The Killers and we got verification from Hanna that he does, so miguel is happy to know this. If you read this "Io parlo italiano" don't be a stranger, call, facebook or text :) and be careful ;)

this will be a really busy week which is really a bummer because i was looking forward to a peaceful first week back to school. i have appt's out the wazoo and things to do almost every single day of the week, i think tuesday is my only free day and I'll probably have to clean that day so I can be caught up and ready since I'll be running around the rest of the week.

this was a rambly post and for some reason i'm reminded of pooh so I'm going to add a quote that i love from pooh:

“You can't always sit in your corner of the forest and wait for people to come to you... you have to go to them sometimes.”
Winnie the Pooh quote

I don't know why i thought of it and don't know that it has anything to do with what i wrote but I thought it was a very cool quote.

I did not know what was happening in my heart.

—from "Tell Me a Story" by Robert Penn Warren
well eventually i did get to sleep and i did rest, much to do today and then school for the kiddos tomorrow YEAH! i mean oh bummer ;)

i'm going to be the hospitality chair at school this year, it's supposed to be an easy job (they always say that) so tomorrow i'm taking the younglings first, then gabi, help her set up, back to CTK for some set up of the school teachers lounge, then workout, then tennis (i'm subbing for someone) then home to clean up and then pick up the kids, then larisa has violin. at least this first day she won't have homework, though gabi appaerntly will right off the bat.

the other day at the gym one of the trainers there told me i had lost weight and i looked thinner around the hips and such... weee!! finally. pat had told me too but it's good to know that others have noticed also (pat always has secret reasons for saying compliments, even if they are true)

i don't think i had ever shared that about 37,000 years ago i bought pat a basketball hoop that you have to put in ground. he has always loved playing bb and i wanted to encourage him to do it, so yesterday morning i issued a challenge, since the box had been in several of our garages for years (i bought it before miguel was born...) so larisa asked when it was going to be put, and i said never that i was going to be there until we died. i guess that challenged pat and by the end of the day, his brother came from poteau and they set it up, LOL, finally!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

almost midnight...

and sleep eludes me.... at least i did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and I'm listening to John Mayer, Where the Light is. Such wonderful music, wow... I really should try to go back to bed but i hate laying in bed and not sleeping, my thoughts take me places i don't want to go. I freak out about everything, things aren't ready, the laundry isn't done, how will i manage the first day of school, thinking of friends and things i've done and wish to do... why does it always have to happen when you want to go to sleep?

No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

ahhh here it is the one i love

The Look
by Sara Teasdale

Strephon kissed me in the spring,
Robin in the fall,
But Colin only looked at me
And never kissed at all.

Strephon's kiss was lost in jest,
Robin's lost in play,
But the kiss in Colin's eyes
Haunts me night and day.


wow now that is gorgeous, wonderful and deep poetry


do you ever wonder about life, or you know have days when it seems like things don't make sense and everything is convoluted and jumbled? i hate those days... the feeling of confusion and lack of direction.

i want to take pictures today, but can't, not until the kids are in school can i take the time to do it. i want to go to altus to take pictures, i'm already thinking of the beautiful areas i can photograph. it's so unusual for me to take pictures of nature, i've always been inclined to take pictures of people and animals, it has always been my "thing" But lately i'm thinking of trees and waterfalls, of mountains and country fences, you know those wood ones that look weathered. i think i'm going to be doing a lot of driving this next few months and find places, i know so little of the area i live in, i want to see the places that are hidden and waiting to be "seen" i know they are out there...

before i end this post i was trying to think of a quote or something, powerful and deep to say, even if it makes no sense. so often i read poems or quotes and for some reason, even if it doesn't apply they speak to me, so here it goes.

Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life, and you don't want to face what's wrong or right. Ain't it strange how fate can play a part, in the story of your heart.

Jennifer Lopez, Ain't It Funny

Friday, August 14, 2009


we forgot half of the stuff gabi needed to stock her locker.... now I have to redo everything and take her to school really early on monday and help her set up.

off to pick up and organize the house, cooking rice and beans and salmon tonight. Sox are playing the rangers this evening, the best part of it, is that it's on fox so pat is going to bitch and moan about the announcers the whooooollleee time. wooo hooo....

some pictures

Emily Dickinson - Hope is the thing

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.


good morning! i love tylenol (i love advil and motrin better but they don't love me back, they want to swell up my face and suffocate me) i love medication when it works and gives you what you need... you know painfree sleep and peace. ahhh.... sleep and rest are so very important to me.

i've been very thoughtful in the last few weeks, reading a lot of inspirational quotes and poetry. I don't know if it's a melancholy thing, maybe i'm dying? well we're all dying but that was not the point of my statement. i'm feeling a deep need to be more in touch with complex words that make me think, that make me pause and take a real look at who i am, what i want and to see what happens around me in a different way. did that sentence make sense? it did to me but i can be welll... unusual.

so shortly i'll post some poetry here, not mine i can't "poetrize" to save my life but other wonderful and gifted poets have wonderful stuff that is touching my heart lately.

3:14 am

i'm up this late, not feeling well, waiting for the tylnol to kick in and eating chocolate mini wheats (hey it's good source of calcium and fiber!) I'm thrilled with the kids teachers, larisa is thrilled with her classmates and miguel is ready to start kindergarden. his teacher is very funny and very focused on reading so i think miguel will really enjoy being in her class.

pat's office was finally repaired, but they have some more work to do to it, with the new breaker box. at least pat is relaxed and has a fully working man cave again.

well no more to write, this is so lame i'm boring myself....

Thursday, August 13, 2009

off to orientation...

bleh... no offense to the school or it's members, i love them all but orientation is absolutely, frigging boring.


sometimes it really SUCKS to be a girl.... 'nough said

come back soon Remdog

remmy came back to see the sox last night!!! he said he is getting better and hopes to be back before the end of the season. I hope so!!! in honor of his visit i posted , well i copied from a friend on facebook, in my profile the infamous remdog air guitar video. enjoy it!!



miguel has orientation today and he is terribly excited about it. I cant' wait to take him to see his new classroom, meet his teacher and see where he sits, etc.

gabi had fun at her orientation last night and received her schedule, locker and saw her friends and figured out who she is taking classes with, she also thinks that a boy likes her, and he is awful cute, such a sweet thing when they start that stage of puppy love, awwww...

i'm happy to say that miguel slept in his own bed all night and didn't come to my bed, which is such a joy for me, he is such a little furnace and he has to sleep plastered to me which is really sweet but after a while it gets hot and sweaty and i can't sleep.

we saw the end of a movie last night with gene hackman and i have to say i found it so stupid, i think pat said it was called "heist" and there were so many double crosses for some gold they stole it was ridiculous...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

your so beautiful

i love that song by Akon....

Hey Phyllis thank you for the comment and for following my blog :)

busy day today .... that can be good

ok the dogs are driving me NUTS! 2 puppies in one house plus a bulldog and a pug is tiring. the yorkie is sooo noisy and the mutt is a mess she is such a spaz! the bulldog seems pretty relaxed today.

I made a new playlist with easy listening music including, the fray, john mayer and a few other loose songs that i love.

taking gabi shopping tomorrow i think, she needs "foundation garments" eeeekkk! when did that happen?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

i love miguel

he's such a little worker, coming in with his sweet little cheeks and dimples and he smiles and i forget what a little stinker he can be sometimes. then he gives me a peck on the lips and runs off to pat to tell him "i kissed your wife on the lips!"

I worked hard today on larisa's room and decluttered the entire pigstye that it was, OMG how can one human being hold on to so much sh*t! She's a massive pack rat!!

6 more days 'till school, things are falling in place, sitter's arranged, meetings scheduled, appt's made, i just need to press uniforms and they should be good to go! gabi gets orientated tomorrow ( i know i said that wrong i did it on purpose ) we get orientated tomorrrow and thursday, miguel gets orientated thursday morning and larisa i guess gets disorientated since there isn't one for her. ar ar ar, i know bad joke, i'm feeling chatty for no reason.

ok i'm going to go check facebook and twitter so i can avoid thinking of laundry

i got my tune...

lucky i'm in love with my best friend, lucky to have been where we have been, lucky to be coming home someday....

last night was rough but we made it thru, there were storms but that was actually helpful for sleeping, then at around 2:30 i woke up sweating and wedged in between pat and miguel, with larisa bringing in the rear... so i had to take the kids to bed and that earned my about 1.5 hours of no sleep.

heidi survived and is doing good from her surgery, although i have to keep her separated from the other dogs so they are all whinning and driving me crazy.

i HAVE GOT to do laundry today, it has be done today, no options nor arguments no procrastinating, i have to get uniforms ready for the kidlets and get rid of a lot of clothes that don't fit either miguel or larisa. i have to get them socks and underwear and undershits for larisa. gabi is all set but can probably use more underwear and bras.

i put a tracker that counts the people that hit my blog and nobody comes but me, LMAO hey this is as good as a journal, nobody reads it. i did put it in my facebook so maybe someone will read it someday.

i have a tanky sitting in my lap pretending to be a baby, sucking his thumb and smelling of morning breath, he wants ice cream for breakfast. he looks massively adorable in his red shorts and nothing else.

ok now he wants to talk and fenway is eating my chair i guess i need to stop blabbering here and start doing stuff....

Monday, August 10, 2009

no song yet...

still thinking of a song but none is coming....

heidi is recovering quietly in the sunroom from her surgery, the doctor said she did well but she has a skin infection so she's on AB, she also has mange so she's on meds, and she puked up a shirt... yes a whole entire child's shirt.... never dull around here...

miguel has been playing happily with his friend from accross the street. it was a slow build up for them, they are pretty different in personalities but they are finding common ground and having a lot of fun together. it should help him sleep soundly which is always in high demand from the parental units.

hmmm.. hmm....

i feel like humming a tune but it's not coming...

it's an ordinary day, still have things to do and the week is piling on with stuff, amazingly the laundry is doing the same thing and not washing itself how I wish i had a way of doing laundry without the actual work.

i finished reading "For a few demons more" by Kim Harrison and i swear it got me depressed... one of my favorite characters dies and i just couldn't put the book down for anything last night. I'm now reading book 7 of the same series called "The Outlaw Demon Wails" too early to tell but it's good so far.

not much else going on, boring, boring :)

Sunday, August 09, 2009

8 days till take off....

the kids start school in 8 days and i feel horribly disorganized and not ready for anything. my mind is just distracted and non-cooperative. I know there is so much i need to do, so many things that have to be completed and done this week, school meetings, 2 of them, miss h is coming to babysit one day and then i'm going to the other one by myself.

i'm looking forward to the kids to go to school so I can get things doine around the house but I'm going to really miss the pace of summer, going to the pool everyday and hanging out and relaxing without worries of drop offs, pick up lines, etc.

Labor day weekend pat is going to be gone with his friends and i know he'll have a blast, i will have to plan something to do with the kids, he leaves friday and comes back on monday so it will be a long weekend but it's ok, i got to go away for a week this summer and it was relaxing to hang only with my friends and it will be good for him to do the same.

i'm still looking for a photography class that focuses on digital photography, i haven't found anything in fort smith so I'm going to see if there is anything else close enough that won't take a whole day to go to. The only thing is that i want something that is good not some basic photography i have done basic photography class and want something challenging.

anyhow, i guess were not going to mass at nine since pat is still sleeping.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

a good day

today has been a good day, cleaned like a maniac this morning, then mr. h brought hamburgers for the kids (and me too though I certainly didn't need it, well my butt didn't need it, it was a good cheeseburger) since then we've been relaxing,watching tennis, having a glass of wine and hanging at the sofa :)

so a couple of things, miguel played with the boy accross the street, mr. h have a happy birthday and I feel like eating junk food (bleh!)

wise questions...

yesterday miguel and i went to sam's to do some shopping and the actual setting is so clear to me.... i was getting milk and out of the blue miguel asks if we can go and meet his birthmother. somehow i had not expected this conversation to happen in such bane circumstances.. you always imagine you'll be having a very serious conversation about adoption and then we discuss that he has always wanted to meet his birthfamily... not my kid :) he's so smart and special and direct. and I said that we would someday and then he asks me if she is dead, i said i didn't think so because she was young and he then asks young people don't die? double whammy, what a kid such deep questions.

I can't explain how often i think of his birthmother and his family in Guatemala and wonder if she thinks of him and misses him and wishes she could meet him. I've sent a letter to the baby's home where he was until we went to get him. i said how smart and beautiful he is and how loved he is and that he is safe and sound and will always have what he needs and then some.

not until last year did we find out that he has at least one sister that lives in the US and is beautiful and has a wonderful family, but i would be lying if i said that i was slightly dissapointed to hear she had placed another child for adoption. i held on to this dream and that placing him for adoption had been a once in a lifetime thing that she struggled with this decision and had to make it out of sheer necessity and would never ever do it again. That he was so special to her and that the decision really marked her. anyhow that is my spoiled "i've always had what i wanted and needed" thought. who am i to judge, blame or question the decisions of someone who lives the way she has to.

well i certainly did not think i was going to write this much this morning. i have plenty to do and little time to do it.

Friday, August 07, 2009

I feel an overwhelming sadness today that I can't explain. There's so much going on and that needs to be done and I just feel like listening to music, reading a book, having a glass of wine (though not this early, yuck!) and pretending i have nothing to do.

i am going to look for a photography class around town, i signed up for a 2 photoshop classes at the lifelong learning institute at the local U, i hope they'll be worth the time. I want to take more pictures and once the kids are in school i will be doing that.

so that's it, i think swimming today and hanging in the sun for a bit will be good for me. :)

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Oh so fun!

Ok I ordered a Kindle and I'm just in love with the thing... I got it yesterday and promptly downloaded a book and finished it by 3 pm today. I already got a new one and as promised it was downloaded into the Kindle within 60 seconds. WOW!

It's so tiny and easy to carry, I have done dishes, laundry, and other housework while still reading and if I need both hands I can turn on the read to option and it reads it out loud to me; now the reading thing is not as good since it sort of runs into sentences too quickly, the voice has no inflection and it says goofy stuff like if the word is "MMmmmmmm" it says "em, em, em, em..." LOL Otherwise it is great.

I went to Zumba class today and then weights, the head trainer there told me (as a response to my question about my saddle bags on my thighs) that I need to run 15 miles a week, eeekkk! and then he commited me to start next Monday so I guess I'll ahve to step up my running.

the dogs are nice and relaxed and coco and fenway are surprisingly calm, I'm starting dinner soon. My good friend B brought over homemade spaghetti sauce with sausage and meatballs and we are having that with salad. She is italian so this sauce will be extraordinary if my previous experience with her cooking is any indication.

so this yet another thing I will do while reading my Kindle, I'm going to cook! :)


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Tennis, tennis and more tennis

I just love tennis, I'm not great at it, I probably s*ck at it but I really love it. It really makes me feel so alive and boy those it work me out.

I can't wait to play my first tennis match on the tennis league I joined. I'm overmatched but who cares I will enjoy it anywhow.

Ok I gotta go get Gabi from dance


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

time to relax

so it's almost 9 o'clock and I'm finally home relaxing with a glass of wine and my computer, I'm in only slight pain which is great and I hope to have a great night of sleep.

Patty who had escaped, was picked up by animal control, I found them before they took her so they let me keep her. Darn dog....

Anyhow tomorrow I expect to have a better health day, and even get more stuff done.

So good night, sleep tight, I'm going to go and show and snooze...